As I was driving Ansley home from school just now...I heard about a woman and how we can watch her amzing story on News 13 sometime this week...she has went through her husband committing suicide and probably some other tragic events. It got me thinking about my journey,and all of my friends journey's, because we all have one. We all have a story that we can tell, mine is about my journey through life, the good, the bad and well the ugly, and yes even tragic events.
Anyhow, I began to think of my friends, and the different journey's that this life has taken them on. I have a really good friend who lost her son just over a year ago, he was 5. Of course this isn't the journey she would have chosen, but it is the journey that God has given her to travel,and though it is one of the hardest journeys with ups and downs,and u-turns, God has also blessed her with 2 beautiful girls (twins), and a wonderful husband (her love since we were in school). But her son, her first born is not here with her. He can not be replaced, nor can he be forgotten. His memory and the footprints that he left in his short life have touched many people. And God allowed me to be a part of her journey, I had the pleasure of taking his pictures along with his mommy when she was pregnant. He was so precious, well mannered, handsome, adorable and definitely an angel! On a daily basis I think about her and how strong she is, even if it is only on the outside. I know she is fighting a very hard battle on the inside, but I believe she knows that God and her angel are with her.She is an amazing woman, mother, sister, daughter, wife and friend and I am so blessed to be a part of her journey. I pray for her daily, that she has strength to make it through the each day and all it brings. And I think about her whenever Ansley starts singing Big Green Tractor, on her own out of the blue! Journeys aren't always happy, they don't a yellow brick road to follow, but we put our faith in God that he will carry us and walk with us through our journey. And I know that one day she will be reunited with him in Heaven, and I think that might just help her through this daily journey. (She has a great blog, My Life without Erik...you should read it sometime).
And I also think of another mothers journey, I call her a friend, but truth be told we have only spoken a few times, but through her journey I feel like she is one of my closest friends. Though we have met a few times in church and I have heard her husband speak God's work...and well I do know her wonderful mother. Her journey is like no other, as is mine, yours and everybody else's. No 2 journey's are alike, and that is what God intended. Her journey is about her beautiful baby girl, Sadie Mae, that she carried for 9 months. And for 9 months and still counting, I am still following her story. She is an inspiration to me and many others. She is a strong woman, a woman of God. Her journey shows me God knows what He is doing even if we don't understand, but we will understand when we are supposed too. And just like my other friend,myself and all of you, her journey isn't over and her beautiful daughter, Sadie Maw continues to show people the way to God, the way to believe and have faith, the way to pray...the way to love unconditionally, even if God calls your angel home. Reading her amazing blog, (Sadie Mae's Mommy) makes me see a strong woman in Christ, a mother that cries,smiles and continues to fight and travel through her journey.
Life's Journey...I mean really we are all on a journey, and no one is alone walking through life, God is there, waiting for you to ask Him to help...Our journey's wont be easy, they will take us down winding roads, twists, turns, up mountains and even road blocks. But we all have a journey, there is not just one person out there traveling through his or her journey. We all just have different journey's, and there is no doubt that along the way we will find heartache, sadness, emptiness, loneliness, bitterness, anger, grief...but the good news is we will find happiness. It could be in the smallest things. It could be that you have the honor of having your church's tee ball team named after your wonderful son...who seems have a little sister that is like him in so many ways....you may be one of the lucky ones to read about Sadie Mae and how she has changed my life and so many others in the short time she was here.
Me, I find happiness in my children's smiles, their laughter, their unconditional love for me, even when I have to be the "mean" mommy. Listening to Ansley talk to Mickey and Minnie Mouse...I smile, she is so creative. I know I have had some very tough times in life and there will probably be more, but I can still smile. No, I wont say that there are days when I just lose it all because believe me, I do...but I know my journey is in God's hands. He has brought me this far, and blessed me with a husband who makes me a better person, 2 beautiful children, a mother, who is just down the road and a brother who is just around the corner.
May is a hard month for my family. Probably the hardest of all months, but I have Mothers Day, and I am thankful for that. Because every year it makes me smile, this year was no different, probabaly the best yet...and well even though I put on sun block, I still got burnt!! But it was worth it. I wont go into detail in this blog, but I will in a future blog, about the hardest part of my journey through life. But for all of you out there, take a moment and thank God for the journey you are traveling. Though there have been hardships, parts of us that will always be missing and never replaced, and time wont heal anything, but we will get better. We will see the sun shining and we will know that our angels are with God, smiling down on us, walking with us each day. Because without our past, we wouldn't be who we are today...even if we aren't completely whole...
I cherish all of my friends, and though I only mentioned 2, (I hope they didn't mind) I do think about all of their journey's...my best friend, is starting a new journey, one with her husband, and I am thankful she found her found her soulmate, he makes her smile...and that makes me smile. Please pray for everyone and the journey they travel, friends, family, and even strangers...everyone has a journey they want to share with you...take the time to be there...listen, love, laugh and cry.
1 comments:
I already talked about some of my journey in previous comments.
I was born in NJ and moved to Woodruff when I was 7. I'd loved NJ and it was so hard leaving. I therefore talked about how wonderful it is and how awful SC was to all the kids in my new class. That didn't really win me many friends.
When I was 9, my mom got cancer. She lived but it was really hard. That year is kind of a blur with just a few clear memories, including when I found out. The next two years were also hard because Mom had no energy and we had no money. Fifth and sixth grades were, in many ways, the hardest of my life.
In sixth grade I really started looking at the Bible. We'd gone to church every Sunday until we moved, but Mom hadn't found one she'd liked down here and then we resisted going because we were out of the habit. I did go to VBS and teens for Christ though. But I had no regular fellowship, and didn't realize I needed it yet.
In eighth grade God like communicated with me. Told me a few things, including not to make many plans, because He has plans for me. He's still teaching me not to plan, but instead to prepare and be ready, but to leave the plans to Him. He's got it covered.
I mentioned high school before, so I'll skip, except to say that senior year, me and Sadie Mae's mommy were very close and even went to prom together. We didn't keep in touch well in college, and we're just starting to reconnect, but I adore her and know just what you mean!
In college, I met my friend Lydia, who showed me you could actually be IN LOVE with Jesus, not just this vague 'love Him because He's God' stuff. She also introduced me to the Bible Study I still go to, which is my primary fellowship now.
I could go on and on, but I feel like I'm hijacking your blog, since I keep typing these extra extra long comments! I guess I will mention three tragedies that did really shape me though:
In 2005 my cousin Vanessa was killed in a mudslide at age 28.
In 2007 my cousin Julie was killed at the Virginia Tech Massacre at age 23.
And in 2009 I was told my fiance Eric had died... only to find out it was a lie, and that he actually had just tired of me and had been cheating on me the entire time we were together.
But God is SO GOOD and He makes everything wonderful.
Including introducing me to my boyfriend and I know very well, my future husband, Ryan.
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