Close to home...

Well, I know I said it may, be in chronological order and always about my life, but I felt I had to write about this. Its an issue that I dealt with for years as do many girls in their lifetimes. And I hope a close friend doesn't mind me talking about it, but for safe measures I will not use names.

A childhood friend of mine, who I must say I love dearly, is having trouble with some girls that attend school with her daughter. I feel a strong connection to her daughter. She is in the 3rd grade, as was I when it mostly started. We all know that kids, and not just girls can be mean, but its just part of life and we all have to deal with it, Right? And if you are a female that just means it will be worse the older you get and you can't do anything about it. How do we even agree with this?  Our advice is to ignore it because it will get worse. Yes, ignoring those ignorant and immature people that are apparently very insecure about themselves is right, but when it continues and becomes an everyday issue that makes a child cry. How do we sit there and agree that its just a part of life. Being the target of harrassment and bullying is not a part of anyones life, much less a child's.

Its very sad, because I look back and think about what I went through, and how I would go home crying to my parents about how awful the other girls were teasing me, and talking about me, but they didn't understand and that isn't their fault. They couldn't comprehend how cruel this people were. I look back and I still don't comprehend it, but it is true...some of the children out there are just down right mean. And if you think your child is not capable of being the one who is bullying others, think again. It could be any of our children, just as any of our children could be the target.

I try to sit and here and think of something to tell her that will help her daughter through this. Afterall, this is something that I wanted my blog to do, help others who went through similiar situations as I did. But I find myself stumped, with no answers. Her daughter comes home crying because of what these children say or do. And then to think it gets worse, which we openly admit. The only advice I could come up with, was that she needed to be proud of herself and have confidence, not stoop to their level and fight, but yet stand up for yourself. Its the same advice that my parents gave me so many years ago.(and we all know they were wrong).:) Of course then, I thought it was the dumbest idea ever, but now that I am an adult, I realize that is what we have do. We have to teach our children to be strong, confident indivuduals who can stand up for themselves and what they believe in. I mean really, tell me what good is getting into a fight? Fighting isn't the way to handle this situation. And that doesn't always make everything go away.  Sometimes it  may spark more gossip, teasing and tears. Standing up for yourself and beating someone up are 2 totally different things. Confronting someone who picks on you is right. You tell them to stop and you tell your parents. Confronting someone by hitting them proves nothing, except you are no different then they are when it comes to bullying. You too can be a bully.

I know I am rambling and this is long, but my mind is being flooded right now with so much emotion and thought. I was treated like crap growing up, and I didn't deserve half the crap that was dished out towards me and I pray that my daughter never has to experience it. And yet some think its just a part of life.

This world isn't a utopia, but I will be damned if our children should be bullied by their peers. Its truly a shame that our country has had to create anti-bullying laws to protect our children, though I am glad they are in place. These kids have no idea what life is about, and to think that some have taken their lives because they were bullied. They have it perfect, at least we as parents and adults think so. We look at their world as so easy, I mean afterall, they do have recess, but our grown up world as if its harder, and by this I don't mean working or bills, I mean socializing. But to a child this is their world, they are living in a world where they are picked on, pointed at, talked about, treated with disrespect, and they aren't grown up. They don't know how to make it stop.  And yet we say to them, toughen up, it will only get worse. How unfair is that to our children? And what is more ironic is the "bully's" of  my era are the ones telling them to toughen up, fight for yourself, learn to deal with it and so on. Now that is an eye opener, because apparently they still think its ok, its just a phase of life. And yet I don't.

So as I am sitting here and thinking back on my days of being bullied, I can say that I am glad my parents intervened, even if it didn't work all the time and was embarrassing. As a parent it is our duty to protect our children, to teach them right from wrong, to stand up for themselves, have respect and be a leader. Children go to school to learn and play with friends, they shouldn't be afraid to go or cry after school. If the teacher can't help, go to the principal, if that doesn't work go to the school board and continue up the chain until it does work. It is our responsibility to protect our children.

So who knows if this makes any sense to you, but it really touches me. I know what this little girl is going through, and most of you women will probably agree that you do as well. But we don't handle it by teaching them to fight. Thats a great way to start life after high school, with a juvenile record...so in closing I am saying we have laws to protect our children from the bullies and we should make use of such laws. I know whether Ansley likes it or not I will always be her mother, and be in her business (to a point).