Cute title, none the less or at least I think so. As always, it has been a while since I have blogged, but I have so much going on right now that I don't have time for anything. The week is finally here, Adam will be one year old this Friday. I am so sad...where did my baby go. I can't believe how fast time has went by. Seems like just yesterday he was a little baby in my arms. Anyways...I figured this would just be a list instead of paragraphs, it's a little easier that way, thus the title...
1. Losing a loved one is never easy, but you can't tell me I don't know how you feel just because it wasn't your father that passed.
2. It has been 8 years since I lost my dad, but there are days that it feels like it was yesterday.
3. I hate feeling that I am taking all the wrong turns in my road to God.
4. I hate that I have no one to talk to about everything, because we all have enough on our plates.
5. I really wish that my hubby and I spent more time together and as a family.
6. I dislike that he is now working third, and we just can't seem to get adjusted.
7. I wish I was chemically balanced and didn't need medicine to help me make it through each day.
8. I pray that my daughter never experiences the bullying that I did while growing up.
9. I pray that both my children will always have respect and manners...and use them.
10. I really hope that I am not on speed dial, for the school, when Ansley gets older.
11. It really bothers me that even though it has been 8 years, everyone figures I am okay, and that I am not grieving.
12. I don't like that there is no attention to Suicide Awareness and Prevention.
13. I am terribly upset that my hubby forgot a very important day to me, and an apology isn't enough.
14. I don't like that he just figures it will all be fine tomorrow.
15. I miss snuggling with my hubby in the bed at night or just sitting on the couch together after the kids have gone to bed.
16. I don't like that Ansley is back in my bed after trying so hard to get her to stay in her own room.
17. I have to admit that I do love to watch her sleep peacefully next me.
18. I am glad that my life is finally on a schedule...somewhat, with the help of Ansley being in school.
19. I never knew how hard it truly was to be a parent, a good one...
20. I hate to admit that I have had thoughts of suicide, but would never do that to my children.
21. Just because I have tattoos doesn't mean I am a disrespectful, non-christian.
22. Everyone of my tattoos has meaning, something from my life.
23. I wish that I didn't have to deal with back pain everyday and that it will only get worse as I get older.
24. I am happy that I have been able to lose all my baby weight, and actually get to my goal weight.
25. I don't like being told that I look sickly and too thin, when I have been much smaller in the past.
26. I regret not finishing nursing school because my anxiety got the best of me.
27. I don't like that I feel mad or sad a lot...especially on gloomy days.
28. I wonder how many true friends I really have...
29. I don't like that my best friend and I don't talk or get together much any more now that we are "grown ups"
30. I absolutely love Charleston...but really don't I could handle all the traffic...
31. I don't feel like I am 31, I still feel like I am in my 20's...
32. It bothers me that he sleeps all day and we never spend time together.
33. I am happy that he spends as much time with the kids as he can.
34. I am thankful for all the help he gives me...when he does...
35. I really hate having all these emotions running through me and I feel like I have no ability or strength to stop it.
36. I don't like keeping it all inside...
37. But I don't want to talk about it either because its a waste of time..
I could continue to go on but well, I am not. I guess you can tell that I am a little sad, mad but also happy and blessed. I am trying my best to stay positive...but it doesn't always fill the void. Until next time...
But when I am at my lowest, I look at my greatest accomplishments, my children, and I always smile!!!
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