The beginning of the one that got away...

Girls, I think we can all agree that there is someone in your past that you were deeply in love with, or so you thought, and then when it finally ended, you realized it wasn't anything like you thought! I know, what a run on sentence that was...but that is truly what it feels like...and mine was no exception...
Its funny because no matter where I would go, I would meet people from my hometown...seriously, once I went to New York and met some others from Greenwood, and when Nick and I went to Cancun we met another couple who live down the road from us in Woodruff...weird!! Okay, so back to my story. It was my junior year at Lander, we were going to Columbia to celebrate my roommates 21st birthday. Her boyfriend and some other people from the Citadel and Charleston were coming as well. Turns out one of the guys coming is actually roommates with a really good friend of mine!! How cool! So I called this stranger to ask if he was bringing his roommate...he response was no...and I don't think it was a polite one either...

We went to dinner, then to some bars around 5 points. We started talking and I thought he was really cool, he was from Greenwood which was weird, he lived in Charleston, my favorite city, and the the city where I was going to move too after college!!! He was a surfer, which I thought was pretty cool...one downfall, he smoked...gross! So we talked all night and exchanged numbers...I ended up going to the car because I was tired and not feeling well...moving on...he came home to his parents for Thanksgiving...and brought me a birthday card...I got a weird feeling about him, I wasn't that into him...or so I thought...I spent the day with him and that was that...he invited me to Charleston over a weekend...I almost didn't go but at the last minute I got in the car and went...had an amazing weekend...had a blast...he was awesome...very sweet...introduced me to his friends...I thought wow, this guy could be it...we started dating...it was perfect, or at least to me...he came over at Christmas to meet my family...right away, my dad disliked him...guess he could see what I couldn't.

During the Spring semester we dated, I would travel to Charleston almost every weekend, and once in a blue moon he would come to Gwd, but it was like pulling teeth to get him there. We talked on the phone every day, all the time...it didn't seem weird to me then, but now, I look back and realize that he called me after every class...and several times over and over if he didn't get me on the first try...To me it was a sweet gesture, one that showed he cared about me, to others, it was psychoatic...seriously, did we have to talk every time I had a free minute...Well, I began to become interested in another guy...I was honest with him...I told them both...it turned into a little game for all of us...who would I choose? I couldn't make up my mind...I would break it off to date the guy here then feel guilty and go back to dating the guy from Charleston...It was pure hell...I didn't know which guy I really wanted...but the one in Charleston said all the right things, wanted the same things as I did...kids, marriage, a future...and well the other guy could care less...in the end I chose Charleston...guess we can call him that! During this whole time I was beginning to change...I didn't see it, but everyone else around me did...my family and my best friend. I just thought it was love, the real deal, and I wasn't changing, but making compromises, I mean thats what a relationship is about, right? I was beginning to stop hanging out with my Zeta sisters, changing the way I dressed...ended up quitting my job because it caused too much conflict with us...and that was a job that I loved!!! But still I didn't see anything wrong in what I was doing...even driving to Charleston one night after midnight because I went out with some friends to a bar, and he got mad...seriously upset with me...wouldn't answer the phone, nothing...so I got in the car and drove to see him and make sure everything was okay...besides he was the one...and I couldn't let him get away...we started talking about me coming to Charleston to live for the summer and maybe even transferring to CofC for my last semester that fall...we were planning our lives together, our future...talked about our wedding...you name it...I applied for an internship at News Channel 5, located in West Ashley, right down from where he lived! I talked to my parents as well...and even though they were not thrilled about the idea of me living with a guy, the internship was a great opportunity, plus I did have family there in Charleston.

So that summer I packed up what little clothes I still had after he convinced me to get rid of most of them,(tank tops, dresses, outfits that were somewhat revealing) and I moved to Charleston to live with him while I did an internship with News Channel 5...the relationship wasn't so perfect anymore...I can't tell you how many times I left and came back...thankfully I had some girl friends in Charleston too and they would let me crash at their place from time to time...mainly it was emotional abuse, made me feel like I was alone, he was all I had and he was all I needed and then it became verbal...but I didn't notice...but I can see I can see it when I look back now...he was always picking on me to work out constantly telling me what my flaws were, to work, he got me a job with his company...and also on my days off, made me go with him to work...and get up super early on weekends to go to the beach...okay, so going to the beach isn't that bad, but hello, remember I burn easily...and there was no where to go to get away from the sun!!! We began to argue over everything...and he began to isolate me more and more from my family...he didn't want to go to Greenwood, and didn't want me to go, and of course I didn't want to go without him...he gave me guilt trip after guilt trip.

One night I went to dinner with some friends. We went downtown to the steakhouse at the market...well the wait was terrible and it was after 9p when we got seated...he called me over and over. I had a curfew!! He wanted me to come home before he went to bed...at the time I didn't think it was bad, it was sweet, I saw it as he wanted me there next to him...but it wasn't that at all...he just wanted to control me...I ended up  having to box my food up and leave because I had to come home...dinner became an intervention, but I didn't think anything of it...I went home to my sweet boyfriend...ahhhhh, he loves me so much that he wants me there beside him all the time...but, the more I thought about it, the more I began to realize it was control, I mean what the hell...I couldn't even go out to dinner with friends?

Then there was the day something, a gut feeling, told me to look in a drawer where he kept odds and ends (I wasn't snooping, I went into this drawer a thousand times before)...and under a pair of shorts was a girls number...wth? Why was this number here...and it was not there last week...kinda getting that crazy feeling, becauseI knew there was something in there, knew in my heart...just like I knew it when my high school boyfriend cheated on me...I just knew...ladies, you know what I am talking about, that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach and you know something is not right. Well, next an old girlfriend from college starts calling...umm, I am not down with that. There is no reason for to be calling him, much less know his number, especially since it had changed while we were dating...so she had to get the new number some how...(Looking back I see what a jealous person he made me, insecure about myself and my world) The first time it got physical, it was really nothing...but now looking back, it was a clear sign...my best friend Ash was in town visiting and just like any other time, he and I were arguing, who knows about what...but we were in the bedroom when he shoved me down, I fell into the clothes hamper, and I barely hit the edge of the bed...not cool...I jumped up and got in his face, I think I may have kicked his leg or something, anyways, he starts yelling for Ashley to come help him because I am going crazy on him...haha!! Til this day she and I still laugh about that!

From there the relationship got worse...but I didn't see it...he even called me his exe's name, but I was so in love that I didn't care...my world revolved around him, he was my world...I tried breaking up with him a couple of times, but I was in love and I really thought he was the one, and somehow he always made me feel guilty, like I had done something wrong...That summer was full of arguements...ups and downs, good times, bad times...its strange, because looking back it feels like we dated for a long time, but we didn't, roughly a year...and that was on and off!! But he stayed in my life a lot longer...funny what "love" can make you think and do...That was also the summer that I didn't spend Father's Day with my dad...man, my mom was so pissed...that was his last Fathers Day.

At the end of the summer I moved back in with my parents for my last semester of college. I was still going back and forth to Charleston on a weekly basis...I knew the way to Charleston like the back of my hand...and boy did I end up with lots of speeding tickets...but I didn't care...I even got pulled over by an off duty cop in Columbia for speeding...this guy cursed me left and right...looking back I don't blame him...I was being stupid....but getting to Charleston as quickly as I could was my goal...I hated being away from him...he was all that I had.

to be continued...